May 5th is approaching. For most people it's Cinco De Mayo, but for myself it's really a day I don't look forward to. It's also the day after my birthday. Every year is different however. Some year's it's not bad and I'm fine, and others well, it kind of bugs me. The reason I don't look forward to it, is because it's the day my mom passed. It will be 9 years this year. Time sure does fly. In many ways, I was more close with her than anyone else.
As far as why it's bugging me this year, it's mainly because I'll be turning 30 this year, and there are certain areas I feel like my mom would be proud, and there are certain areas of my life where I feel I haven't lived up to her. I'm trying, but sometimes feels like it's a constant struggle. I haven't been able to get a job (still), still live at home (wish that would change, but I need a job first), and that's just two glowing aspects.
Kind of amazing though as to how time flies. 9 years. In all honesty, it still feels like it was only yesterday I was sleeping on the floor helping her during the night. I'd sleep on the floor Monday through Friday, help her out during the middle of the night, and off to college during the day. This lasted for a few months.
Next year is year #10, and I really hope I have a job by then. I want to make a donation next year to a charity in her memory, or do something that is worthwhile. I think she'd be happy that I got two of my brothers to go to church. My other two? Haven't seen them in at least 10 years.
As far as my birthday goes this year though, The Avengers is out on my birthday, and TNA (Impact Wrestling) will also be at the local arena on my birthday. I'd definitely like to get friends to go to either one. It'd definitely be fun.
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